Failing in the New Year

I am a resolution failure.

It’s not a pleasant statement to make at the beginning of a new year, but those are the facts of the matter. My resolution at the beginning of last year was to average two blog entries a week, or a total of 104 blog entries. I accomplished 61, a little over half. Objective stated, attainable, and not achieved. Result: Fail.

I could say that there were unexpected circumstances, and that would be true up to a point. I could say that getting close to 60% was a lot better than going for a weeks and then giving up, and that would be true also, up to a point. But these truths, true up to a point, are beside the point: I said I would, and I didn’t. There are no reasons or excuses or circumstances that change that. I failed. So what now?

Failure is real. Some have come to not believe it. Shoot, for many society has moved heaven and earth to convince them there is no such thing. Failure is like the boogeyman, a scary story made up to frighten bad children (except, of course, which the idea of “bad children” is made up as well). Over the past three or four decades, I have watched as teachers and politicians and well-meaning friends have told those around them that any effort, no matter how small or half-hearted, was a work of genius, a master stroke. 

They told them and told them that they were good and noble and brilliant and could do no wrong. And those they told believed them. They believed them in such great numbers that any thought of failure became intolerable, therefore students lost all respect for teachers that challenged them. They believed that their judgment was infallible, so when the courts and juries disagreed with their wisdom, they took the streets and rioted. They believed that their morality was superior, so when they say others who had earned more, they closed down businesses and looted and used threats of extortion.

But despite all of the actions these “social giants” did take, there were a few that they never would.  They never took responsibility for their own lives and situations, for the classes they skipped, for the opportunities they simply passed by. And throughout all of the protesting and rioting and chanting, they never took responsibility for being part of the solution. Oh, a few did, here and there. But for the most part it was screaming to government or business or society to take away their problems, to make them go away. Do whatever it takes, but don’t ask us to change or accept responsibility for our own actions.

Don’t ask us to face our failures.

Well, I failed last year’s resolution. I’ll start this year by owning it, but not letting it own me. This year I have resolved to get a novel draft ready for review by the end of February. It’s a challenging goal, but it’s achievable. I just have to be able to summon a bit of that discipline that got away from me last year, and stay with it. 

I may make it, and I may not. Either way, I intend to improve old skills and hopefully develop new ones. I will challenge myself daily. I will strive for my best and accept the constructive comments of others not as attacks, but as sincere and needed assistance in this matter. And like this year, I may fail, but that will be okay. Not great, not good, but okay, because it is not our failures that define us. 

How we respond to our failures is what defines us. 

Last year is over. The “fail clock” is reset. Go out there and set some goals. Challenge yourself. If you fail, learn from it. If you succeed, then you have the cause for a real celebration. I’ll take that over a “Ribbon of Participation” any day of the week.